The hardest experience any mom can face is watching her child struggle without stepping in to “fix” things for them; particularly when you know it’s the best way forward. However, the bitter truth still remains that in some natural situations, even as a perfect mom; you cannot protect your child from pain, discomfort and some bad experiences.
Now, let’s look at some of these challenging issues you never knew or considered before having children.
WORK ON THE CHILD YOU HAVE, AND NOT YOUR IMAGINARY CHILD
Yes—we all know that it can be difficult to have a child with a little different character, but you shouldn’t parent based on what you think they should be like and not as who they really are. For example when you have kids with ADHD or a child whose disrespectful and you think this isn’t what you signed up for; trust me, you’re clearly missing out. But once you can let go and accept your child for who he really is, then, a different kind of love can develop and there’s a possibility for a miracle.
ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD HAS TO EXPERIENCE THE PAIN AND DISCOMFORT OF NATURE
pushed our bedroom door and fell down some stairs. It was an accident but, a part of me at some point felt like a bad parent, but the trust is that we can’t always keep them safe from the whole thing. These feelings are natural, but when we are always overprotective, our children will never learn how to deal with them. It is never our job to bear all their burdens for them.
FACING BLAME OR JUDGMENT FROM OTHERS
Parenting can be a very difficult process, especially when you have a kid that has fallen off track and engaged in some bad characters—now, as a parent, you’ve probably gotten a look from people close to you and strangers alike—that look that says “What’s wrong with you and Why aren’t you doing anything about your child’s character?” this can be a very terrible experience for every parent, but the fact is that people will always judge you even when you know you’re doing your best for your child —it’s our nature as humans. However, you can only feel safe from this when you stop thinking negatively about what people think about you or talk to yourself in a way that only brings hope, rather than anxiety.
ABUSIVE WORDS FROM KIDS
Parents can’t stand it when their children are rude or mean to them. You just noticed that the sweet little girl you know has overnight changed and starts acting out– “I hate you,” “Just leave me alone” and refusing to do anything with you. Those words have the power to shrink you to rage or tears and sometimes kids use it in a fight to paralyze a parent. But what really matters is your ability to handle the situation. Now, you can start by reflecting on yourself with questions like “What does my baby girl really want from me right now?”
It could be some space or she’s having a hard time with something. Anyways, no matter what the situation might be, never take those words personally and talk to them when they might have cooled off.
Every child will definitely grow up someday, which can be unbearable for some parents. It’s important that when your kids grow older, we need to loosen up, give them space to learn things the hard way and become mentors or coaches. This can be very painful to accept sometimes and a bitter experience that every parent has to go through.
There’s never a right answer all the time, do your best to become a “good enough” parent and not a perfect one and remember that the choices you make today will turn out to be a “good” or a “bad” one—so choose wisely.